


My snake got loose

by Stinastar



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fools in Love, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia Loves Jaskier | Dandelion, Jaskier comes up with a bad excuse, Jaskier is afraid of snakes, Jaskier | Dandelion Loves Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, M/M, Mentioned Roach (The Witcher), and whatnot, but I didn't say so, kind of like, let me save you from your terrible date, sexy geese, they're just a bit slow, they're roommates, you know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:07:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27396193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stinastar/pseuds/Stinastar
Summary: Jaskier saves Geralt from a bad online date and puts forward another option.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 6
Kudos: 117





	My snake got loose

**Author's Note:**

  * For [EllieStormfound](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EllieStormfound/gifts).



> Prompt fill for EllieStormfound: I’m going to save you from the terrible date you’re having, for Geralt x Jaskier? <3

Geralt and Jaskier were sitting on the couch in their shared apartment before Geralt’s latest dating-app date. Geralt was scowling at his phone, considering preemptively cancelling.

“Ok,” said Jaskier, “your last few dates were objectively terrible. How about this. I’ll walk into the café past your table say, fifteen minutes into your date. If you seem fine, I’ll order a drink and leave. If I’m not sure, I’ll say hi and check in. If you give me the signal, I’ll come up with an excuse to get you out of there.”

“…fine.” Geralt grumbled.

———

Jaskier walked into the café. He spotted Geralt quickly, his silver hair a beacon, seated by the window facing away from the door. A small, stylishly-dressed man with lush shoulder-length blond hair was seated across from him. Geralt’s date was a man?? Jaskier turned this information over in his mind as he stepped forward. He could hear Geralt’s date speaking with disdain.

“Horses? I hope you’re not tied to that. They’re… not clean. There are always flies around them. Ugh.” Could his nose get any higher in the air, Jaskier wondered. Jaskier wrinkled his nose.

“I own one. Horses are a big part of my life” Geralt replied gruffly.

“…oh.” His date replied, raising his eyebrows.

“Geralt!” Jaskier exclaimed, rushing up to their table. “Thank goodness I found you! My… snake… got loose, and I can’t find it! I need your help. It’s very urgent.”

“Your…what?” Geralt asked, turning to look at him. Jaskier raised his eyebrows and stared at him pointedly, his back to the blond man.

“Oh! Your snake. Oh no. So sorry, if you’ll excuse me.” He said to his date. “Nice to meet you.”

“It’s an emergency!” Jaskier declared apologetically to the blond. Geralt grabbed his coat off his chair and let Jaskier drag him away by the hand. The blond watched in shock as they scurried out the door.

Once they were both seated in Geralt’s truck, Geralt turned to his friend.

“Your snake? Really?”

“I hadn’t made a plan. Shut up.”

“You’re terrified of snakes.”

“I am not! I just don’t understand why they have to…move like that.” Jaskier said. Geralt snickered.

“Geralt…you know _I_ like horses.”

“Uh, yeah? You like Roach. And she tolerates you.” He smirked.

“Right. … _I_ don’t think she’s dirty. She’s quite lovely.” Jaskier said. Geralt snorted.

“She’s a bitch.”

“Yes, well, she does have her charm, though. But… _I_ am single and support your love of horses.” He held his breath, teeth worrying his bottom lip. The silence stretched out. “Geralt, you could go on a date with _me_.” Geralt looked at him with a blank stare. “I mean, just kidding.” Jaskier laughed, high and tight, looking away out the window. His fingers rubbed together.

“No, you weren’t” Geralt said slowly. “Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

Jaskier sputtered.

“You only ever go out with girls! I thought… I didn’t think…”

Geralt leaned towards him and lightly traced his bottom lip with his thumb.

“Can I?” He asked, looking from Jaskier’s lips to his wide blue eyes.

“Yes, _please_.” Jaskier breathed. Geralt slid his hand along Jaskier’s jaw and moved in to kiss him. Jaskier’s brain started tripping over itself. Was he dreaming? Did he slip on the sidewalk and hit his head and this was all a hallucination? Oh well. Whatever it was, he was going to make the most of it, he decided as he surged towards Geralt’s lips.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Your kudos and comments brighten my day 🌈💖  
> Check out my profile for more Witcher fics!  
> Find me on tumblr under stinawrites & stinastar


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